i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
