hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I am mentally ready for anal.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize