You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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