Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Woke up backwards on a recliner
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
