How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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