I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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