from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize