I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
