somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
