Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Randomize