Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
