just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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