He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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