how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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