The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
We got so high we made milksteak
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
