I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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