Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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