this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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