i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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