yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize