I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
