No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
pray to the hookup gods
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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