I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
