miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
