i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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