are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
40s are totally the cure
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
