Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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