never play flip cup with pint glasses
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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