Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
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