i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
