No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
