There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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