I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
