Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just had sex on a roof
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
