I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
