Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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