So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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