we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
