to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
