She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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