Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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