just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Randomize
