Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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