New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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