So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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