i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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