if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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