I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
