Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
