People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
