Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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