First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
