my mouth tastes like poor choices
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
