def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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