return my video game
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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