thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
