I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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