Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
