i permit you to call me
I hate all girls vehemently.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize