i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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