mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I've blown a few things in my day
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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