uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
