I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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