i was rollin on her like bob the builder
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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