4 words: hood of his car
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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