She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
