I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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