Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Randomize
