Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i think my mom watched the whole time
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
