wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
