I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
