I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
