I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize