why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
