you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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