if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
