Welp...herpes.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
