WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
