no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize