awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Randomize
