College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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